I recently read an article from Unfair Advantage by Cody Royle about Coaching Burnout and it really resonated with me personally. By the way I highly suggest you subscribe to the Unfair Advantage. Cody, along with Dr. Alex Auerbach put out a weekly article and podcast around topics related to coaching but honestly can be translated to any form of business. Anyway, this burnout topic…I’ve been there. Honestly I can admit part of it was self-induced. When you are supposed to be on maternity leave and you find yourself on staff meeting calls, putting together athlete development programming, trying to solve organizational DEI problems, and checking in with student athletes regularly to make sure they are on track with classes and degree progress…it really WAS self-induced. On paper I was on leave but in reality I was hard at work…secretly nursing my newborn on zoom calls..making myself available at all times of the day/evening.
I will say this baby showed up at the start of the pandemic and height of the social justice unrest that the country was experiencing and I could not pull myself away in order to rest, heal, and nurture my own child. I’m a nurturer, a fixer, a gap filler by nature and I honestly felt like I could do it all. And for a while…I did. Then I hit a wall…and I hit it hard. So hard that I just didn’t care anymore. I was in the flaming hot zone of burnout and when you couple that with a touch of postpartum, things were on a [what felt like an unstoppable] downward spiral.
My immediate solution: I figuratively dropped most everything. Like right in the moment. I started scheduling mental health days on my calendar and I took them. I took one or two leave days each week and I was completely offline. I wasn’t answering emails or attending meetings. It could wait. IT ALL COULD WAIT.
It didn’t have to be that drastic but it DID in the same right. I truly understand how some of these well known coaches have just up and left sports. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming. We can’t find ourselves anymore. It’s not fun. It affects our health, both physically and mentally. This was extremely hard for me but over a year later, I look back and I realize I’m better for it. I had to be extreme. I had to drop everything. I had to give myself time to find myself again and re-identify what was most important. Some of us suffer from a bit of perfectionism and always thinking that there is more to be done. So we overwork, and under rest ourselves. Over time this will always bite you in the butt.
Here are some sharable tips on how you can avoid getting to that dark place:
- Set boundaries. Regardless of how important we think things are, there isn’t much we can do outside of normal working hours. I don’t [or won’t] define those hours because that looks different for everyone.
- Prioritize your tasks. Identify what is really important and/or has a concrete timeline. What needs attention but can be slow-rolled? What can be delegated or off loaded? (Re: You don’t have to be everything for everyone, or do everything Always. I’m side eyeing myself).
- Schedule mental health days. I do these unapologetically now. Sometimes it looks like blocking my calendar for an off day, attending a therapy session, or simply not starting work until I need to. I like to watch Paw Patrol with my little and be at the bus stop for pick up for my big and go grab ice cream. Walks by the lake calm my soul in a way I can’t describe. Take the time you need for you and indulge in the things that make you happy and whole.
Ultimately we all need to remember we can’t pour from an empty cup. What are you doing to refuel yours? Think of it this way…I personally don’t like my iPhone to operate on little to no battery so it is not fair to allow my body to be in the same situation. And sometimes…we need the low power option and other times we might need the extra “overnight” charging.
Be mindful of where you are – acknowledge if YOU are contributing to your own problem. Do a self-inventory right now. Most importantly…give yourself grace.
-LCJ.