💎 #18: Mentorship

MENTORS: We all need one (or three)…and we definitely need to be one and pay it forward to others. Not a single person has moved into the positions they are in on their own, and in many cases, mentors and sponsors are those people who have been integral in assisting us to move through our careers.

A mentor is typically someone who has been in our shoes before and can help us navigate the paths ahead. There are levels to mentorship and those done right, can exist beyond a professional relationship extending into a personal relationship. Mentors are the listening ear to bounce off situations and/or problems, and can also serve as a voice of reason to check on you when you might be headed down slippery slopes. An added benefit is to have a mentor who can be a truth teller – someone who can check you when your way of thinking might benefit from a change in direction.

Having a mentor who looks like you can be very beneficial in itself. I unfortunately as a Black woman, have not always been privy to such relationships. Some of my most coveted mentoring relationships have come from White men who in a sense have also been able to act as champions/sponsors for me when I was not in the room. Sponsorship…that is a topic that deserves its own blog post (and I will save that for another date).

So how does one nail down a mentor? You can put yourself out there and cold email/call/DM someone for an introductory conversation and/or interview. In doing this, you can get a better feel for if this person is truly suited to be what you desire in a mentor. Remember, all that glitters from afar is NOT gold…or even silver for that matter. In addition, not everyone has the space or capability to be a mentor to EVERYONE. This is when it is important to read the room. If they do not offer some type of support, it doesn’t always mean they are not interested, but you cannot go in guns blazing with an ask, and not really know what all is on their plate.

The key to mentorship is the relationship component…which provides another option on how to secure one. Sometimes, mentorship happens organically. You become connected with someone due to a mutual interest or colleague, and the relationship continues to blossom as you keep in contact and make time for meaningful connections. People love to claim a mentor but please make sure it is a mutual feeling. One conversation DOES NOT make someone your mentor, and only calling them with your problems likely also falls into this boat. It’s important to understand what you are bringing to the relationship as well because I’m a firm believer that we can all learn from one another.

I want to circle back to my statement regarding not always having had the opportunity to have a mentor who looked like me. I recently had a conversation that challenged this notion and they asked if I never had one because they didn’t exist. For a large part of my career, I didn’t SEE them (and by THEM I mean Black women). It’s not that they didn’t exist, but more along the lines of I wasn’t exposed, and honestly didn’t know where to look for them. Now, there are most definitely women I look up to like Felicia Martin, Coach Caryl Smith-Gilbert, DeeDee Merritt, Jocelyn Fisher Gates, and Luvvie Ajayi Jones. Some of these women I already have standing relationships with, and others I admire from afar. The twist for me now is redefining what mentorship might look like. Does it truly mean we need to have a standing connection multiple times a month or quarter, or does it simply mean I know I have someone in my corner when I need it (and in rooms when I might not be looking). As a mom, partner, and woman in sports – time is of the essence. I do my best to be a consistent voice for others, but as I grow in my own career, quality over quantity is a major motto, and likely something I will lean into as I re-imagine what mentorship means in my life.

As I challenge each of you to build meaningful and authentic relationships with your mentors, and/or seek out new people to fill these roles in your lives, this is also challenge to myself to walk the talk and reconnect with people in my corner, and continue to build my own board of directors. Remember, what got you here might not keep you here and surely won’t be enough to get you to the next level. Keep your mentors close, don’t be afraid to build new, authentic relationships, and cherish those relationships to continue to build your collective futures.